What Do We Need to Do?

1212mentalhealth-RW (Photo credit: Robbie Wroblewski)

Just today there was a news report about a mom being arrested because her 12 year old daughter was found naked digging through garbage cans in a city in California. And people wonder if mental illness is real or if it is just a matter of will power. Just snap out of it, get over it all those wise suggestions. A Guy fitted himself with what he thought was an explosive vest and attempted to blow himself up in the capitol building, just having  a hissy fit was he? And how about those kids who lose their mom or dad over seas in the latest combat situation, are they supposed to just get over that too?  My point here is what do we need to do to get the world to understand what mental health is and how it needs to be evaluated and adjusted just like our cardiovascular health needs to be checked and managed if necessary. What do we have to do to get parents to come listen to the truth about mental health and kids, what may be giving them some difficulty that might be the key that unlocks years of school free from anxiety, fear and crushed self esteem? I address parents groups locally at elementary schools at the Parent Coffee's. There are maybe 7 parents there, usually single parents, mostly female. They all are very respectful of my time and the information I give them, always making sure I am being understood and am open to questions... which usually gets me feedback of crickets. The teachers are involved in the activity. After the event is over, there are at least 5 of those parents who come talk to me in hushed tones abut their kiddo. Could he be bipolar? He could be anything, but first he is a little boy, your little boy. Kids have issues. Anxiety, depression, even hallucinations. Depression and anxiety untreated can result in hallucinations, paranoia and psychosis. Finding out that therapy once a week for a few months could have warded off the child's psychotic break at 16 years old, or could have stopped the suicide of a 10 year old is sad compensation for these parents. Most of them can see the signs after the fact, but those same signs were there before. Parents need to first know their kids and what their lives are like. They should be able to pick up on anything that is out of the ordinary in behavior, routine, friends appetite etc . Parents should take their children to the appropriate doctor if the phenomenon persists for a week or so. It should be ok to take a child to a therapy appointment or a psychiatric appointment. We don't sneak people in to see their cancer doctor, or their heart doctor or their gynecologist. Are kids afraid of  having mental illness? You bet they are and they learned to be afraid from us. Just the same way we have made dentist's and hospitals fun and less scary for kids, we need to do the same for mental health and families. When we take away the fear, the stigma, we clear the way for hope and healing

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Community of Healing or Despair

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I tend to post things about kids and their travels through the difficult years to adult hood when things really get weird. The absolute worst period for a child is middle school years. It is so bad they actually created separate schools just for this age group! Remember back in the day when they were in with the elementary schools kids? In looking at kids who are hitting this dramatic time in their lives, we must also look at the bigger picture of the community. What does the community give these kids as role models and attitudes about health, wellness and compassion? I added compassion specifically because of the over whelming  urge to find some one's weakness and hammer on it until they break. Kids will do what they see as being the accepted norm. Maybe parents are not engaging in belittling behaviors but look at the rest of the community. Look at the tv ads, the magazine articles.. or just the headlines at the checkout stand. We tend to sensationalize people's despair. We talk about the latest star to go to rehab like it is a sign of weakness. No wonder people are afraid to even consider the possibility of a mental health issue or a drug and alcohol problem. We as a community should be supporting people who recognize they need help. no matter what the thing is they are seeking help for. We should be secure enough to know that there are diseases of the brain just like there are disease of the heart or thyroid glad. The strength to realize that you or a child of yours requires help you are not capable of giving them is a sign of deep care and love for that person... especially if the person is you. I listen to kids everyday. They talk about how bad they feel because they aren't as good as they should be. They aren't as talented as they should be, not as smart, pretty, athletic, cool.. the list is lengthy. The despair these kids feel in tangible. And they feel that no one is listening or cares. They talk about their parents and how hard it is to talk to them. They are genuinely fearful of telling their parents they feel like hurting themselves or dying all the time.  They are afraid of being sent to a mental hospital. The over riding fear associated with this is what will people think? If you need to be locked up, then you are crazy, bananas, wacko, whatever the current term is. If you drink too much and take drugs, you are cool at first, then just a really bummer person to be around. If you get help then you are not fun anymore cause you don't drink or smoke anymore. The community as a whole needs to promote people getting help. It needs to celebrate recovery from all diseases in a grand fashion. We have walks for cancer survivors. They wear pink ribbons and proclaim their years of recovery in a very public forum. Where is the forum for recovery from mental illness or substance abuse? Where are the runs and parties and balloons? Did you know there is a walk every year for people who have lost someone to suicide? It happens all across the country and it is called  the Out of Darkness walk. NAMI has a walk to promote mental illness as a treatable malady that people do recover from. Clarity Child Guidance Center in San Antonio had their first ever Pinwheel Run for Hope to bring a level of focus to the fact that kids have mental health needs that we are not recognizing, and to raise money to treat kids who don't have insurance or are under insured when it comes to metal health. There are grass roots organizations that are working to destroy the stigma that surrounds these diseases and brig them into main stream health discussions, just like obesity and diabetes. It is time we all join in this fight. It is time that we as  community, support all efforts to be healthy both physically and mentally. It is time for open and honest talking with our kids about what to do if you feels like dying, or if you are too anxious to be able to concentrate, or you have been experimenting with drugs and think it might be a problem. It is time to help our kids create a community they can be proud of and participate in. It is time for us to stand up for our own well being. We re the problem so lets be the solution too.

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Drinking, Mental Health, and Violence

We all know that drinking and kids is a bad mix. We all hear about the dangers of binge drinking in the Freshman year of College. Something we may not be as aware that the incidents of mental health issues in kids who drink dramatically increases the more often they drink. Diagnoses like depression,anxiety disorder and even bipolar disorder can be seen at higher rates in kids who drink. The more they drink, the higher the possibility of a diagnosis. Bring suicide into the picture and the rates go up drastically in the kids that drink or smoke pot. Alcohol is a depressant. We know this. We also know that the more we drink the less impulse control we have. Add lowered impulse control to an already impulsive adolescent brain and is it any wonder kids have such a high death rate? Add a motor vehicle in the picture and I truly am surprised there are any teens still alive and well. If you take a look at brain studies done at Washington State University, you can see the long term effects of alcohol use on the brain. What is even more impressive is the effects of alcohol on the body. Did you know that if you blow a .3 on a Breathalyzer at Midnight it takes until 3 pm the next day to blow 0. This is pure math and physiology. Our bodies can only process so much alcohol an hour.. no matter what. This explains why a kid can still be drunk legally long after stopping drinking. This is why so many kids get in fights long after the drinking has stopped. Violence travels right along with booze and kids. Add marijuana and it may also carry absolute paranoia as well due to the effects on the brain and genetics which is too deep a line to follow here. So use of alcohol can predispose a kiddo to a mental health diagnosis later in life and can also heighten the possibility of incarceration based on violence. It takes an instant to pull a trigger and a second to plunge a knife into someone. Alcohol makes it easier to take that step. Any young people reading this post, don't take my word for it, do some research on the net about the effects of alcohol on your body. The world is yours to do with as you please and a bunch of you are looking at environmental history with disgust. Take a look at your own environment, your body and really pay attention to what you expose it to. There are a lot of things you can't control but there are amny more you can. Parents, stop lecturing your kids. They stopped listening to you bitch at them years ago. Just talk with them...listen to what they are telling you and be straight with them. When a kid their age dies or gets admitted for a mental health issue, ask them about it. Let them talk about their views and their fears. They do have them you know.

Mental Health Month

May is mental health month. There is even a day dedicated to children's mental health. The National Association for Mental Illness or NAMI has walks to promote mental health awareness and advocacy across the nation. There is no reason someone who thinks they may benefit from seeing a therapist or a psychiatrist should be so ashamed they put their well being on the line. No one is ashamed of seeing a doctor if they think they may have diabetes, or HIV, or heart disease, or even erectile dysfunction. There are TV ads out the wazoo about erectile dysfunction. Yet millions of people suffer in silence isolated in a fog of stigma that makes them feel damaged and not worthy of the things most of us take for granted. Children especially are caught in a quagmire of misconceptions about mental health. They are subject to what their parents have been told by other family members and friends. Parents may spend more time away from their work dealing with issues surrounding untreated mental health issues, such as school behavior problems than any other reason, yet they still are hesitant to seek out professional help. So are we to assume parents are just as plain ignorant when it comes to their kids mental well being? Maybe they just don't care, don't have the time or the resources? I prefer to think parents are victims of an industry that has been stigmatized in the media and culture as something that is uncontrollable and dangerous. There have been numerous issues with mental health care in the past, not the least of which is medication side effects. The use of seclusion and restraints, shock therapy and lobotomies have made mental health care seem gruesome and barbaric. Modern mental health treatment minimizes seclusion and restraint and I have not heard of a lobotomy in decades. Most parents agonize over the use of medications in their children. All parents should discuss side effects with their doctor and make an informed decision about using meds for any issue. But if we look at how skewed we are toward certain drugs as being safe, we can see the impact that advertising has on our cultural beliefs on medications. Take acetaminophen,the active ingredient in Tylenol. This drug is in most over the counter pain medications and cold, flu and allergy compounds. Acetaminophen is one of the most deadly drugs to overdose on. It kills the liver. The symptoms do not appear until the liver is already dying. Symptoms are flu like with nausea vomiting, etc. Yet this drug is still considered safe enough to have in every medicine cabinet in the country. I can hear you saying, "I only use ibuprophen." Guess what? If ibuprophen or Motrin is given routinely on an empty stomach is can eat away the lining of the stomach and result in a gastric bleed which can be life threatening. I am not advocating not using medications for illnesses and diseases! I am asking everyone who is considering seeking professional help with a mental health issue to weigh the issues.There have been many advances in psychiatric medications and research is continuing. Currently, people who are receiving medications in addition to therapy are living amongst us and contributing to society, instead of being locked up in institutions for their entire lives. They have families. They fall in love and experience joy and sorrow just like the rest of us. We need to ask certain questions when deciding to seek help for what may be a mental health issue. Is the risk or the POSSIBLE side effects of a recommended medicine so great they outweigh the struggle of the untreated mental health issue? Is it worth a frightening and unsuccessful school performance and damaged self esteem of your child? Is it worth job loss and repeated suicide attempts, continued substance abuse, less than positive interactions with law enforcement, fractured relationships,a life of despair? How much is clear focused thought, being comfortable in your skin and happiness worth? Think about it. Many very famous and successful people have handled mental health issues from depression to anxiety disorders. The ones we hear about are the ones who were too afraid or too proud to get help. They are the overdoses, single care accidents and panicked attempts to protect themselves from voices that are not real. We never hear about the lives saved and spent in peaceful recovery. Take a moment and do something for yourself. Check out the Mental Health America website. Then check out NAMI, and lastly check out Clarity Child Guidance Center in San Antonio. Really read the information these sites have. If you have questions, call the numbers given. If you or someone you know is struggling, take the time to help them. The best thing you can do is let them know you want to understand what they are dealing with.And that you don't think any differently about them than you did before. Then do your best to combat stigma against mental health and those who are dealing with it. Take a stand for the minds of America. Speak up and speak out.

Drug Abuse and Kids

There is a huge debate going on over the impact of drug abuse on our society. There are those that believe it is overblown and mental illness takes priority over recreational drug use gone wild. The truth is, kids and adults who have untreated mental health issues such as depression, anxiety and some types of psychosis use drugs to try to medicate their symptoms themselves.
You see ,strangely enough, it is much better to be a drug addict than to be mentally ill. Mental illness seems to imply parents are at fault and the child is damaged beyond all hope of repair. The child may also be totally untrustworthy, prone to fits of homicidal rage, at the blink of an eye. Drug use can just be overcome, by sheer test of will, and a few 12 step meetings here and there.
But what if there are both mental illnesses and drug abuse going on at the same time? What if your 16 year old son is struggling with severe depressive episodes and anxiety, which makes it impossible to stay in school a whole day without having a nuclear level melt down. What could he use to help get him through that day? Maybe a little marijuana? It isn't that hard to get. You can actually grow and harvest a small amount for personal use without drawningtoo much attention to yourself. Then there are the over the counter things, like benadryl, that help you relax. Kids who don't have an avenue to go seek help from a medical doctor without alerting the parent patrol resort to whatever they can get to help them. Alcohol is another big seller. It is easy to get and legal. There are many many more.
The more complex the array of substances, the higher the danger for something bad to happen as a result of a child trying to figure out a way to cope. If parents truly believe their kids are innocent of drugs, there may be another thing we need to add in the mix called denial. Adults are rarely privileged to the underground communication networks of their kids. Teens are getting inside information from friends who have been there and found things that help them make it through undetected, at least for a time. They will try whatever it takes to help them feel normal again.
So what do we look at first? Which came first, the mental health issue or the drug issue? It really depends on the environment and the child. But any child who has a family history of either mental health issues or drug abuse concerns needs to know just how quickly they could get sucked into a quagmire of darkness and grief. There are so many prevention programs, it would be hard to list them all here, so I will just include a few links for you. The issue most important to this discussion is all kids are subject to abusing drugs. All kids are prone to developing a mental health issue even if only a mild one for a short period. My challenge to you is you decide which one gets the most attention. Do we just not screen for drug abuse and hope they are the 10% that are honest when they say they have NEVER tried a drug? Or do we assume they all have tried and just include drug prevention education in their classes and treatment plans if they are over 10 and under 75 yeras old?
I talk to kids everyday. They all admit to having used drugs of some sort regularly. Some are prescribed. Some the parents know about. It helps them do better on test scores, it helps them eat less. It gives them more energy. They can talk better to girls. Loads of reasons why. Those kids are out there with your kids. Have a serious talk with your own kids and find out how big an issue it is for them and their friends. Then,armed with personalized facts, talk with city, county and state leaders about why there are so little drug abuse prevention programs for adolescents and even less actual treatment programs and why those programs don't get funding. If you do get an answer, please share it with us. Our kids are dying to know why they are so unimportant.
For more information on drug abuse and prevention try this group www.SAACADA.org , and NIDA

Here's a Kids Story. Is she someone you know?

I have told you stories about how we can impact children by helping them with what they have to deal with in today's world. Today, I decided to give you a snapshot of one of these kids and what it is she has to cope everyday. Leslie is a precocious 8 year old with long dark curls and beautifully curly lashes. She is bright and can sing like an angel, which she enjoys. It is one of her few joys, she says. She also has just been admitted to the hospital for cutting her wrist, so deep she needed 24 stitches and a blood transfusion. Leslie was the child of addicts. From the time she was a toddler, her daddy injected her with crystal meth, cocaine and variety of other drugs. Then he raped her from the time she was 4, every day, until just a few weeks ago when she went to live with a foster family. She remembers the nights especially. The smells, the sounds and the pain. She also remembers the blood. There was a lot of blood. She learned not to cry and scream because it only made it worse for her. Things got shoved in her mouth if she made too much noise. So she learned to leave her body while this was happening. She learned that pain can be overcome by "checking out" as she calls it. But she said you have to come back sometime. And it gets too real too fast. When the pressure of her life gets too much for her little shoulders and mind to bear, she cuts. The blood is sanctifying and washes away the dirt. She has few friends. Everyone knows there is something different about her, but they have no idea really just how deep it goes. She is haunted by pieces of memories that are too horrible to talk about right now. She can't see anything past where she has already been. She needs counseling and intense therapy. She needs to know she is more than the sum of what was done to her.She needs to know that does not have to define her life. She needs to be able to do that at her own pace and with loving support from at least one person she can learn to trust. She has just learned that she will always be susceptible to addiction, because she was not able to grow up learning how to deal with normal feelings without substances clouding her perceptions. She knows her kids may have th same possible probelm with addiction. She has trouble sometimes figuring out what is real. This may sound like an extreme case to you, but these are the kids I see everyday, either at the clinic, in juvenile custody or on the streets selling themselves for rent. These kids are the forgotten ones. Meanwhile a battle rages in the mental health profession over what is the priority to treat, substance abuse or psychiatric issues. I have a news flash. They are both equally important and substance abuse by children, even if it was forced upon them by direct ingestion or by growing up in a crack house has just a big a place in treatment as bipolar and depression. But take a quick look at the availability of effective substance abuse interventions for kids from the age of 10-18. In my area there are relatively none. What does that say about just how well the industry is keeping up with what the community needs? I think we can all agree kids are in desperate need of help in all aspects of their lives. Substance abuse deserves an equal amount of money and attention in treating a child. After all wellness included the entire body, mind and soul. Total wellness cannot be achieved with anything less. My challenge to you is to let your city officials know we need to get kids treatment for drug issues as well as mental health issues. If we can bail out GM and AIG we can surely spend a few hundred million dollars on saving our kids. Aren't they worth it?

Mental Illness Awareness Month/ October

We all agree there are mentally ill people who need our help. They are on the streets and living under bridges. They are also in our kids classrooms, protecting our city from fire and crime and treating us when we are ill. Mentally ill people are productive parts of our society who go about the daily routines of their lives with little more than a bump occasionally along the way, usually. Sometimes the struggle comes for them when they don't know what is happening to them, why they feel the way they do, or why they suddenly lash out verbally for no reason. Kids are especially overlooked when it comes to early identification of what may be a mental health issue. Every day, 50% of the teens in our country think about suicide. Every day an unknown percentage of grade school children deal with extreme anxiety so much so they experience physical symptoms. Mental illness is easily treated, if found early. Sometimes all we need to do is talk it through with someone who is non-judgemental and caring. Sometimes we may need a little more help than that. Whatever the effective treatment may turn out to be, the longer we delay in accepting there may be a mental health issue at play, the more damage is done. The wait, the delay, the denial, the struggles. These are the things that destroy a life bit by bit. These things draw the person into a darkness of soul that takes years to crawl out of. No one likes to feel they are always on unstable groung. No one needs to experience how of touch they are with the rest of the world for every minute of their existence. We all need to be comfortable in our own skins and with the thoughts rattling around in our brains. Intense thoughts of darkness, lack of hope and despair don't make for a happy life. Please take the time to check out the PBS specials on Healthy Minds this October. Within our minds are the powers of the universe, waiting to be unlocked. Take care of those divine sparks and make sure we all have a chance at healthy minds.http://www.wliw.org/productions/local/healthy-minds/season-two-overview/164/