What Do We Need to Do?

1212mentalhealth-RW (Photo credit: Robbie Wroblewski)

Just today there was a news report about a mom being arrested because her 12 year old daughter was found naked digging through garbage cans in a city in California. And people wonder if mental illness is real or if it is just a matter of will power. Just snap out of it, get over it all those wise suggestions. A Guy fitted himself with what he thought was an explosive vest and attempted to blow himself up in the capitol building, just having  a hissy fit was he? And how about those kids who lose their mom or dad over seas in the latest combat situation, are they supposed to just get over that too?  My point here is what do we need to do to get the world to understand what mental health is and how it needs to be evaluated and adjusted just like our cardiovascular health needs to be checked and managed if necessary. What do we have to do to get parents to come listen to the truth about mental health and kids, what may be giving them some difficulty that might be the key that unlocks years of school free from anxiety, fear and crushed self esteem? I address parents groups locally at elementary schools at the Parent Coffee's. There are maybe 7 parents there, usually single parents, mostly female. They all are very respectful of my time and the information I give them, always making sure I am being understood and am open to questions... which usually gets me feedback of crickets. The teachers are involved in the activity. After the event is over, there are at least 5 of those parents who come talk to me in hushed tones abut their kiddo. Could he be bipolar? He could be anything, but first he is a little boy, your little boy. Kids have issues. Anxiety, depression, even hallucinations. Depression and anxiety untreated can result in hallucinations, paranoia and psychosis. Finding out that therapy once a week for a few months could have warded off the child's psychotic break at 16 years old, or could have stopped the suicide of a 10 year old is sad compensation for these parents. Most of them can see the signs after the fact, but those same signs were there before. Parents need to first know their kids and what their lives are like. They should be able to pick up on anything that is out of the ordinary in behavior, routine, friends appetite etc . Parents should take their children to the appropriate doctor if the phenomenon persists for a week or so. It should be ok to take a child to a therapy appointment or a psychiatric appointment. We don't sneak people in to see their cancer doctor, or their heart doctor or their gynecologist. Are kids afraid of  having mental illness? You bet they are and they learned to be afraid from us. Just the same way we have made dentist's and hospitals fun and less scary for kids, we need to do the same for mental health and families. When we take away the fear, the stigma, we clear the way for hope and healing

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Community of Healing or Despair

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I tend to post things about kids and their travels through the difficult years to adult hood when things really get weird. The absolute worst period for a child is middle school years. It is so bad they actually created separate schools just for this age group! Remember back in the day when they were in with the elementary schools kids? In looking at kids who are hitting this dramatic time in their lives, we must also look at the bigger picture of the community. What does the community give these kids as role models and attitudes about health, wellness and compassion? I added compassion specifically because of the over whelming  urge to find some one's weakness and hammer on it until they break. Kids will do what they see as being the accepted norm. Maybe parents are not engaging in belittling behaviors but look at the rest of the community. Look at the tv ads, the magazine articles.. or just the headlines at the checkout stand. We tend to sensationalize people's despair. We talk about the latest star to go to rehab like it is a sign of weakness. No wonder people are afraid to even consider the possibility of a mental health issue or a drug and alcohol problem. We as a community should be supporting people who recognize they need help. no matter what the thing is they are seeking help for. We should be secure enough to know that there are diseases of the brain just like there are disease of the heart or thyroid glad. The strength to realize that you or a child of yours requires help you are not capable of giving them is a sign of deep care and love for that person... especially if the person is you. I listen to kids everyday. They talk about how bad they feel because they aren't as good as they should be. They aren't as talented as they should be, not as smart, pretty, athletic, cool.. the list is lengthy. The despair these kids feel in tangible. And they feel that no one is listening or cares. They talk about their parents and how hard it is to talk to them. They are genuinely fearful of telling their parents they feel like hurting themselves or dying all the time.  They are afraid of being sent to a mental hospital. The over riding fear associated with this is what will people think? If you need to be locked up, then you are crazy, bananas, wacko, whatever the current term is. If you drink too much and take drugs, you are cool at first, then just a really bummer person to be around. If you get help then you are not fun anymore cause you don't drink or smoke anymore. The community as a whole needs to promote people getting help. It needs to celebrate recovery from all diseases in a grand fashion. We have walks for cancer survivors. They wear pink ribbons and proclaim their years of recovery in a very public forum. Where is the forum for recovery from mental illness or substance abuse? Where are the runs and parties and balloons? Did you know there is a walk every year for people who have lost someone to suicide? It happens all across the country and it is called  the Out of Darkness walk. NAMI has a walk to promote mental illness as a treatable malady that people do recover from. Clarity Child Guidance Center in San Antonio had their first ever Pinwheel Run for Hope to bring a level of focus to the fact that kids have mental health needs that we are not recognizing, and to raise money to treat kids who don't have insurance or are under insured when it comes to metal health. There are grass roots organizations that are working to destroy the stigma that surrounds these diseases and brig them into main stream health discussions, just like obesity and diabetes. It is time we all join in this fight. It is time that we as  community, support all efforts to be healthy both physically and mentally. It is time for open and honest talking with our kids about what to do if you feels like dying, or if you are too anxious to be able to concentrate, or you have been experimenting with drugs and think it might be a problem. It is time to help our kids create a community they can be proud of and participate in. It is time for us to stand up for our own well being. We re the problem so lets be the solution too.

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Mental Health Month

May is mental health month. There is even a day dedicated to children's mental health. The National Association for Mental Illness or NAMI has walks to promote mental health awareness and advocacy across the nation. There is no reason someone who thinks they may benefit from seeing a therapist or a psychiatrist should be so ashamed they put their well being on the line. No one is ashamed of seeing a doctor if they think they may have diabetes, or HIV, or heart disease, or even erectile dysfunction. There are TV ads out the wazoo about erectile dysfunction. Yet millions of people suffer in silence isolated in a fog of stigma that makes them feel damaged and not worthy of the things most of us take for granted. Children especially are caught in a quagmire of misconceptions about mental health. They are subject to what their parents have been told by other family members and friends. Parents may spend more time away from their work dealing with issues surrounding untreated mental health issues, such as school behavior problems than any other reason, yet they still are hesitant to seek out professional help. So are we to assume parents are just as plain ignorant when it comes to their kids mental well being? Maybe they just don't care, don't have the time or the resources? I prefer to think parents are victims of an industry that has been stigmatized in the media and culture as something that is uncontrollable and dangerous. There have been numerous issues with mental health care in the past, not the least of which is medication side effects. The use of seclusion and restraints, shock therapy and lobotomies have made mental health care seem gruesome and barbaric. Modern mental health treatment minimizes seclusion and restraint and I have not heard of a lobotomy in decades. Most parents agonize over the use of medications in their children. All parents should discuss side effects with their doctor and make an informed decision about using meds for any issue. But if we look at how skewed we are toward certain drugs as being safe, we can see the impact that advertising has on our cultural beliefs on medications. Take acetaminophen,the active ingredient in Tylenol. This drug is in most over the counter pain medications and cold, flu and allergy compounds. Acetaminophen is one of the most deadly drugs to overdose on. It kills the liver. The symptoms do not appear until the liver is already dying. Symptoms are flu like with nausea vomiting, etc. Yet this drug is still considered safe enough to have in every medicine cabinet in the country. I can hear you saying, "I only use ibuprophen." Guess what? If ibuprophen or Motrin is given routinely on an empty stomach is can eat away the lining of the stomach and result in a gastric bleed which can be life threatening. I am not advocating not using medications for illnesses and diseases! I am asking everyone who is considering seeking professional help with a mental health issue to weigh the issues.There have been many advances in psychiatric medications and research is continuing. Currently, people who are receiving medications in addition to therapy are living amongst us and contributing to society, instead of being locked up in institutions for their entire lives. They have families. They fall in love and experience joy and sorrow just like the rest of us. We need to ask certain questions when deciding to seek help for what may be a mental health issue. Is the risk or the POSSIBLE side effects of a recommended medicine so great they outweigh the struggle of the untreated mental health issue? Is it worth a frightening and unsuccessful school performance and damaged self esteem of your child? Is it worth job loss and repeated suicide attempts, continued substance abuse, less than positive interactions with law enforcement, fractured relationships,a life of despair? How much is clear focused thought, being comfortable in your skin and happiness worth? Think about it. Many very famous and successful people have handled mental health issues from depression to anxiety disorders. The ones we hear about are the ones who were too afraid or too proud to get help. They are the overdoses, single care accidents and panicked attempts to protect themselves from voices that are not real. We never hear about the lives saved and spent in peaceful recovery. Take a moment and do something for yourself. Check out the Mental Health America website. Then check out NAMI, and lastly check out Clarity Child Guidance Center in San Antonio. Really read the information these sites have. If you have questions, call the numbers given. If you or someone you know is struggling, take the time to help them. The best thing you can do is let them know you want to understand what they are dealing with.And that you don't think any differently about them than you did before. Then do your best to combat stigma against mental health and those who are dealing with it. Take a stand for the minds of America. Speak up and speak out.