The Littlest Sacrifices

Kids in the United States are falling behind the rest of the world in education, according to a number of  reports and sources. Texas is in the midst of some of the most drastic cuts to the public education system in the states history, in addition to systematically cutting funds for programs that provide social services to people. Medicaid cuts to hospitals that care for the uninsured or underinsured will likely cause a backlash of people who plummet into disease and malnutrition. Emergency rooms may resort to treat and street tactics to minimize the financial loss. In the midst of all this mayhem, our kids are trying to go to school and lay the foundation for their future. The programs in the schools that educate kids with special needs are being cut to the bone. Special Education will suffer. Not just the programs for kids with learning disabilities or learning disorders, but kids with mental health issues, physical issues and the gifted and talented will be cut as well. Next week we celebrate Children's Mental Health day... a day set aside for communities to organize and support advocating for our kids mental health. Bring your kids with you. Invite your city officials and state legislators. Put faces to the programs that will be cut. These are kids, not dollars and cents on a balance sheet. Cuts need to be made to secure our financial future as a nation and a state. There are many more special interests that should take the cut before we remove the education we do offer our kids. If we did it right, maybe we might even consider making our education system really teach kids what they will need to know to be effective and successful. Like reading, writing, and how to balance a checkbook. Take time to really pay attention to what happens in Austin, and Washington. Make your voice heard. Lets make this country a gift for our children's children, not a burden.

Does Violence Impact Children

In a recent report released by the National Survey of Children's Exposure to violence, the most comprehensive Nationwide survey of the incidence and prevalence of a child's exposure to violence,the conclusion was stated that 60% of our children are exposed to violence daily. This can be either directly or indirectly. Nearly one half of the children surveyed had been assaulted in the past year, at least once.1 in 6 were victims of sexual victimization. The recent reports of a teen girl who was attacked and gang raped after her homecoming dance while 20 plus witnesses stood by and did nothing, brings up a dramatic question. Why did no one intervene?
Is this the normal our kids expect to see? Children in the US are more likely to be exposed to crime than are adults.Each year millions of children are exposed to violent crimes in their homes, schools, communities as both victims and as witnesses. Children can show remarkable resilience but most often children who are exposed to violence undergo lasting physical, mental and emotional harm. They suffer from difficulties with attachment, regressive behavior, depression and anxiety. They also develope conduct problems. They are more prone to dating violence which we have seen on the rise in San Antonio. The most lasting effect of violence in a child is the effect upon forming lasting relationships through partnering, which will continue the cycle of violence into the next gerentaion.
So what can we do? Violence is all around us, everywhere you look. We are saturated by violence and crime. The key factors are early identification and contiued follow up. Teachers, families, judges, police, pediatricians,mental health workers, CPS workers, domestic violence advocates and others who interact with kids have a responsibility to create interventions that decrease or prevent the harm associated with exposure to violence. These interventions are both physical and mental. These types of interventions rarely take into account the cumulative nature of the effects of violence on the life of a child. This single study focuses on the past year and lifetime exposures to violence across a number of categories to include physical, bullying, sexual victimization, child maltreatment, dating violence, witnessed and indirect victimization. In ages 6-9 sibling assault, bullying, and teasing or assault without a weapon were the most common and declined as the child aged. Older children ages 14-17 were the more likely to be exposed to more serious forms of violence including gang assault, assault with injury, sexual victimisation, and physical and emotional abuse. The most common group experiencing kidnapping with a gun were the 10-13 year old group. Over the next few posts, we will go further into this report and discuss the impact of victimization from infancy through later adolescence. Please come back for the follow ups. The full report can be located here www.ojp.usdoj.gov/ojjdp

How to Give a Kid Bad News

This is never easy. From "Oh, no the goldfish is dead" to "Guess what? We're moving!" Children perceive things differently than adults. Depending upon the age of the child, it may not be such a big deal at all. The trick is, let your child decide if it truly is awful or if it is just a way to get a new pet. Moving can be traumatic, if the child already has their own social network in place. Telling a Senior in High School about a move is decidedly harder than telling a 4 year old. But it can be done with grace and care. You needn't make a big thing of preparing the child for the news. Sometimes telling a child you have something to tell them that may make them sad, sets them up to already be anxious about the news. Just tell them the news. Wait for them to respond. They may ask questions. They may start to cry. They may get angry. Whatever they do, it is our job as the adult to let them know it is OK to feel. It is okay to cry, be angry, be afraid or whatever they are. Help them to accept the news over a period of time, not immediately. No one can do that, not even adults. Children rarely feel they have control over their lives so giving them control over how they accept news is a great start to help them feel in control. Feeling in control is the best way to come to acceptance. Talk. Listen. Let them know it is OK if they want to talk about this again later. But don't keep asking them if they want to talk. They will see this as a sign that you do. Kids are very good about trying to keep their adults from hurting. Don't let your child deny their own feelings because they are trying to take care of yours. Sometimes life hurts. Deep down heart hurts. Use words they know. Let them draw pictures, or write poems. If it is a move that is coming, make a story book for the little ones of how they will pack all their favorite toys and send them in a big truck so they will be there when they arrive. If possible let them see where they will be going. And let them say good by to the old house. Kids attach to places really well. If your child is older, then talking is the best way to help. If there has been a death and you want to know if your child should go to the funeral, ask the child if they want to say goodbye. Kids need closure too. Transitions are hard for children. It is the adults job to help them through. Let me know how you have handled changes in your children's lives.